Understanding Trauma
Trauma is beyond the Big Events.
Trauma is a word we hear a lot, but it doesn’t always mean what we think. Here’s a simple way to understand how it affects the body and what you can do to help your nervous system feel safe again.
Trauma is a word we hear a lot these days, but what does it actually mean? Most people think of trauma as a big tragedy or extreme event. While those experiences can certainly be traumatic, the nervous system tells a more nuanced story. Trauma happens when the nervous system gets overwhelmed and struggles to return to a calm, regulated state.
It can happen after a single overwhelming event, like an accident, a scary medical procedure, or a sudden loss. But it can also build over time through repeated stressors, like ongoing conflict, chronic stress, or repeated criticism. Trauma isn’t just about how “big” the event is—it’s about how the experience affects a person’s nervous system. Something that feels overwhelming for one person may not feel the same for someone else. Trauma is relational, and what gets stored in the body can look different for each individual. Loosely, we can think of trauma as any unpleasant experience that lingers in the body long after it happens.
Psychologists often distinguish between “Big T” and “little t” trauma. Big T trauma refers to extreme, life-altering events, while little t trauma includes experiences that feel overwhelming or unsafe, even if they wouldn’t be considered catastrophic by others. Both can leave lasting impressions on the nervous system and affect the way someone responds to stress, even years later.
Some examples of experiences that can feel traumatic include repeated criticism or invalidation, feeling unsafe in social situations, or ongoing stress that never seems to let up.
The good news is that there are ways to help the nervous system feel safe again. Here are some practical strategies that can help:
Practice calming exercises, like slow breathing or grounding techniques, to help your body return to a regulated state.
Notice and name bodily sensations—this can help you recognize how trauma is stored in your body.
Create safety cues or small rituals that signal to your nervous system that you are okay and the environment is safe.
Connect with a calm, supportive presence—co-regulation helps the nervous system settle through relational support.
Find safe ways to express emotions, whether through talking, journaling, or creative outlets.
Build tools and strategies you can use when triggered, reminding yourself that your nervous system can return to calm.
These strategies aren’t about forgetting or dismissing what happened, they’re about giving your nervous system a chance to settle, helping you feel more in control, resilient, and confident over time. Trauma doesn’t have to define you, and the nervous system can learn to feel safe again.
